A Fresh Start

I haven't posted in a while, so I'll give a super brief update to give some context to this post. The short story is that I hit one of "those" downswings you hear that other people have and it makes your downswing seem like nothing. Are there worse downswings out there? I am absolutely sure of it. Now for me I am using buy-ins and % of my bankroll as the measuring stick. The dollar value of my downswing is NOTHING in comparison to the majority of serious poker players. But for me, it was still significant. How much was it? About 1/2 my bankroll.

That is phase 1. Phase 2 is a major expense that I have had for a year that we set up as a no payments/no interest for a year. Well I was hoping to build my bankroll enough where I could pay for this and not affect my roll. Unfortunately that didn't happen and now my once $11k+ roll is down to about $2,300.

So that is the past. On to the future.

I have two choices. Dwell on the past and act like "poor me" or make a new start. I chose to approach things with a fresh mind and start a new chapter in my poker career. It won't be easy, but the alternative sucks. In fact, I got some inspiration this morning on my decision. I went to church this morning for some reason (I never go) and the message today was that when life hands you the worst of it, it is those with faith and fortitude who will receive god's support and wisdom (or something like that).

Starting this morning, I am working with a new bankroll. I also know that things happen for a reason and my recent re-connection with someone who I just started a backing agreement with was meant to be. I am one that believes that god will present paths for us to choose and it is ultimately our decisions that dictate the directions we move in.

Moving forward, I am not going to try and catch back up or chase losses. I am not going to make decisions that carry emotional baggage from past results or use my ego or "need to win". I am going to think positive and stay focused on profitable decision making.