Losing Streaks Suck! Where'd My Bankroll Go?

I normally stay pretty positive about things and I completely understand variance. I have been through downswings before, but things have really sucked lately.

I was on a nice little run earlier this year and built my bankroll up to $8K. I originally started with $300 online and even have dished out a couple grand in private training. After I won my first significant tournament, I really started getting in the grove and was playing really well. Even if I had little downswings, I was still very confident in my decisions.

After Jenni and I had our third child I toned down the frequency of playing and I balanced my time between work, family and poker a little better. I was really tired at work and poker was the culprit, so I started playing less of the big tournaments that would keep me up until 2am.

I did, however, start playing in some of the local $1/$2 cash games and found myself not adjusting. I wasn't adjusting to a cash game style and I wasn't adjusting to the players as much as I normally do in a tournment. The result of this and playing some cash games online was losing about $2.5K. 1/2 was certainly in my bankroll, but when every hand had a live straddle, I might as well have been playing 2/4.

Speaking of bankroll, during this time I also had a moment of reflection with regards to why I'm playing poker in the first place. I blogged about this on Pokermentors and I'll probably move that post over here. But the result of this epiphany was that I loosened my bankroll management rules. It took me a while to get used to it and I'm not sure I fully have. I think if I had made a significant cash, it wouldn't be a cause for concern, but now I'm down to about $3,500.

I've started playing more poker after I set my WSOP goal. Since then I haven't been able to get things going again. I've had a few minor cashes in some local live tournaments, but nothing significant. Online, I haven't cashed in my last 20 tournaments. I've bubbled a couple, but I'm really on a bad run of late. I'm trying not to let it affect my confidence, because I really do believe I'm a better player now than I was earlier in the year.

I think what is going on right now is a period of transition. I'm moving away from textbook plays and I'm trying to find my own style. I've always had certain tactics that work for me, but I've been experimenting with a few things lately. I think I have to go through this stage in order to take things to a new level, but it's not helping my bankroll. Technically, yes, I could replenish my bankroll with outside means. But it is very important for me to separate my poker money from my life money. I never want poker to create financial issues for my family.

So, right now I've got a trip to Tunica coming up for the World Poker Open and the WSOP Circuit event. Last time I allocated about $2,500 to the trip and came away down $1K. I'm confident that I can come away ahead on the trip, I'm just getting awfully close to wiping out the bankroll it took me almost 2 years to build.

I know. I shouldn't worry so much about money. But I really don't want to have the talk with Jenni about taking out a few grand so I can re-build my bankroll. We have the means and it probably isn't that big of a deal, but its still an uncomfortable conversation. At the same time, I also don't want to grind out $5 sit-n-gos online. My only other option is to not play in Tunica unless I can build up enough money before then. But it's only a month away.

The thing is, this is why I'm playing poker. To be able to go to these events and compete, so I can gain the necessary experience in order to reach my goal. Yes, the money is great and its how you keep score, but I'm not playing for a living.

So the plan for now is to stay focused and not let the downswing affect my play. I'm going to grind out as many small to mid-sized online tournaments and sit-n-gos as I can. If I keep on this streak, I won't make too big of a dent in my bankroll, but it will put me in a position to hopefully win a few grand in the next month. I'm also not going to worry too much about this bankroll thing. I'm going to make some adjustments and not play in big buy-in tournaments right now, but if I worry about going bust it's just going to negatively affect my play. If it's something that happens, it's not the end of the world. All the great players have gone bust multiple times. I'll just cross that bridge if I come to it.