The Fear of Being Wrong

If I had to pick the number one obstacle I've had to overcome during my short poker career, it would be playing with fear.

I'm somewhat of a Type A personality and, for those things I care about, I'm a perfectionist. While trying to be perfect pushes you to be succesful, it also comes with some strings attached. Two negative side effects of perfectionism is overthinking and the fear of failure. Both of these really go hand in hand. It's "crap...that's a strong bet...what the hell do they have? Maybe X, no maybe Y, oh I know...it's Z. But wait, if it was Z wouldn't they have...hmmm...damn...if I'm wrong I lose half my stack. Better play it safe. I fold."

Why am I afraid of being wrong? I guess part of it could be not wanting to look bad in front of other people. But mostly, I think it's just me being anal and not wanting to make mistakes. A mistake would mean I didn't play perfectly. I'm sure there's something deeper going on there, but I'm sure I'll figure that out eventually.

I first realized I had this fear when I started playing poker online. My heart would race and my forehead would sweat anytime I was actively in a hand with even the slightest of action. And we were not talking about high stakes here. I started playing .05/.10 NL online, so I was basically freaking out over $4 pots.

So, knowing this was one of the biggest obstacles holding me back, I have consciously worked on this emotional/psychological aspect of my game. One of my favorite poker books is Zen and the Art of Poker. One of the best pieces of advice this book offers is to consciously practice trusting your instincts. "Playing by instinct is going to be wrong at times but doing it on a regular basis will purify the process. From practice, you will close the gap. Your instinct will improve, until what is in your mind will gradually become in alignment with the true nature of what is going on in the game."

I've come a long way in the last couple of years in defeating this demon. I'm proud of what I've accomplished but it still creeps up from time to time. Here's a great example from a tournament I played in last night:

At 100/200 blinds + 25 ante, we're 6 handed and I've been very active. I have about 4500 and get AT under the gun. Normally I'm raising there, mixed with a small percentage of folds, but I've been experimenting with a few things and I decide to limp, 2 others call behind and a very aggressive big blinds pushes all in for 2300. My gut says that she's pushing with almost any two here and most likely A-rag, but for some reason the fear of being wrong whispered in my ear and I folded...I found out later she had A2, which was what I figured. I was 70% to win.

Now of course if you simply look at the cards, AT isn't the type of hand you should normally call all-ins with. But I'm at the point in my game where I'm moving beyond what the books say and I'm evaluating the entire situation before even thinking of my cards. Moving forward I plan on trusting my instincts more and more in these situations, even if it makes me look like a donkey or busts me out. It's only through repetition and practice that I'll hone my skills solidify my confidence in difficult situations.